Farmer Me

So Max and I hit the zoo today. It was a lovely day so there were a zillion babies there. It was toddler-pallooza. We even ran into someone we knew.

Friend: Lacy, I can not believe you're wearing pearls at the zoo.

Me: Why? We're mothers. Not farmers.

Friend:  I thought you wanted to be a farmer. With a goat and vintage appliances?

Me: That's true. But it's a stylish farm. Even the goats have pearls.

Friend: You're googling pearls for goats on your phone right now, aren't you?

Me: Yeah, but all I'm getting here is pearls for swine. Maybe we can have pigs instead.

Friend: Are you sure those results don't link to the use of the idiom "pearls BEFORE swine," Lace?

Me: That's what our farm can be called! It's a refuge for wayward pigs, a place where they can get back on their feet after I save them from becoming bacon.

Friend: Lacy, the point of farming animals is to raise them and eat them.

Me: Not at my farm. We wear pearls and we don't eat one another. It's all very civilized.

Friend: Where are you going?

Me: To find the pigs and check the smell level. I can really only handle like a 3 plus on a one to ten scale.

Friend: Well, why not just douse them in Chanel perfume?

Me: Now you're just being ridiculous. Like I need the EPA on my back. It's bad enough I'll have to deal with the PETA people wanting to know why all my pigs are being forced to wear necklaces.

Appropriate Zoo attire right here, people. 



The First Day

So, this pudgy little squidgy little guy with the drool used to be my baby. 
He rolled around and demanded food all day and sat still for pictures.
And MAN, did he love his momma.


Now.... this is my baby.


Heading off to his first day of preschool without me.


He never even looked back.


He's pretty much in college now. I have become obsolete. Below is a picture of him standing outside of his classroom door demanding to be let in because he can hear the other two-year-olds having fun in there and the door is locked.


When I picked him up a few hours later, the teachers all gushed about how smart he was and how sweet and charming he was (and how  mischievous he was.)

But I only wanted to know one thing... Did he ask for me at all?

And it turns out he did.

So, I guess he still loves his momma after all.

The director of the school said Max did great
(he didn't even want to leave when I came to get him), 
but if we were going to do this thing twice a week I was really going to have to pull myself together and not cry so much.

Good luck with that, ma'am.


I WANT to know all of these things except about you.

 1. Post these rules.
2. Post a photo of yourself and 11 things about yourself/your life .
3. Answer the questions set for you in the original post.
4. Create 11 new questions and tag people to answer them.
5. Go to their blog/twitter and tell them that you've tagged them.

Yall, I know you've seen this before and I know you may be wondering... "Do people with blogs need MORE of an excuse to navel gaze and chat about themselves?"

 The answer: 
Clearly, that IS the case with me. 

Nothing to be done about it. So read on! But seriously, the be all, end all, coolest girl ever tagged me up (most likely to nudge me out of my long time dismal no blog-a-rama) so this is happening... right now!


11 Shocking Facts About the Proprietor of the Newsfeed

1) I can NOT hang on to my phone to save my life. I continually lose it, and it's an extreme source of frustration for my friends and family. I'd say a good 75% of the time, it's completely lost. When it finally turns up, I apologetically reply to all the angry texts I have waiting about my not answering the phone, declare voice mail do over and delete them all, get frustrated after people tell me what a terrible friend/daughter/wife I am for loosing my phone, and so I lay it down somewhere, walk away,  and the whole cycle begins again. 

2) I LOVE helping folks. Helping people feel better = my black tar heroin. We've moved twice in a year and I really miss having friends that I'm close enough with that I know when they need something done or aren't feeling well. I'm getting there with my friends now, but they are still resisting my need to help a bit. My favorite is surprising people with dinner or a small chore that they needed done because then it's already done and they can't stop you or insist that they can do it themselves. That is the saddest thing ever for me.

3) My favorite board game is Dreamphone. Google it. I have two sets and I make company play it all the time.

4) I've always wanted to be an actress. Or at least, since I was Ado Annie in a production of Oklahoma! in the fourth grade.  Still, every birthday, while reviewing my life options I always think "Oh Man! Am I too old to become a famous actress now?! And then I tell myself, No Way! That is defiantly still on the table." Even though I've done exactly zero to ever achieve this little dream of mine.

5) My husband and I remind me of Lucy and Ricky Ricardo from the I Love Lucy show because I'm always coming up with super fun "schemes" that are DEATHLY important to me and my husband is a ranting, Cuban naysayer. 

6) I think a really important thing in life is to sit quietly on a tuffet of soft grass and review yourself every now and then. Recognizing disconnects in your feelings about yourself and others can be life changing. I think that's why I'm not good at keeping up with my phone. When I do have it with me, I feel the need to constantly be on it and I don't have any time to think. 

7) I constantly obsess over how I'm gonna change my hair next. It's good that it's so short for the moment because I don't have a lot of options left.

8)It makes me really, really crawl out of my skin uncomfortable when people talk about money. 

9)Sometimes I carefully make a long list of all the things I'm going to accomplish that day and then never do any of them or leave the house the whole day just because Max and I are having so much fun messing around in the garden or something dumb like that. Then, when I see the list I feel awful. But only for a minute. 

10)I have extreme anxiety about keeping in touch with people. I have so many wonderful friends and family that I think about everyday and want to call or check in with and I don't do it because I'm worried that they are mad at me for not calling sooner. I know. Straight crazy, yall.

11) I subscribe to "Airstream Life" magazine and freak out when it comes and read every page. The thing is... I do not own an Airstream. Never have. Maybe someday.

Meredith's Questions

1. What's the best  thing you ever ate?
Tomato Zucchini Bisque. Minerva's. Sioux Falls, SD. Go there and eat it. It will change your life.

 2. Do you prefer the radio, Ipod, or a CD while driving?
I like sattelite radio a lot. I pretty much listen to one of three stations. The Highway (country). Alt 21 (alternative). Or the spa channel (It makes soothing noises while I take deep breaths and the baby screams at me from the backseat that he wants to go to the car wash.)

3. What's your most prized possession?
I'm not really that attached to anything. I guess maybe my camera.  Or a guitar pick that Clay Walker gave me at a concert because I was in LOVE with him so bad when I was 14. I'm so old that there are songs on the radio that are covers of my teen superstar's songs. OLD.

4. What's your fave ride at Disneyland?
I've only ever been to Disneyworld, but my favorite thing there was this ride that made you feel like you were taking off in plane because I love airplanes. My awesome aunt rode that ride with me a million times while I was wearing a propeller hat that I thought was sooo awesome. She's a better person than I am.

5. What's your favorite clothing trend from your lifetime?
Goucho. Pants. Felt like jammies. Looked flattering on no one.

6. What's the best road trip you ever took?
One fall, some friends of mine and I went to the Shakespeare Festival in Cedar City Utah. Maypoles. Raspberry Tarts. Theater. It was nerd Heaven. So, I was in Heaven.

7. What's the first song you remember knowing all the words to?
I remember that I learned all of the words to all of the weird little songs in the girl scout camp handbook. I can still sing a lot of them. And I sang them LOUDLY at girl scout camp. Yeah. I was that kid.

8. What was your favorite year of HS?
Junior year I feel like was pretty great. We finally all had cars and some freedom but we didn't quite have college looming over us yet like we did senior year. 

9. What did you want to be when you grew up when you were a little kid?
An Actor/Lawyer/Astronaut/Ballerina/Spy. Not one of those. ALL of those. I was hoping to be rather well rounded.

10. What's your go-to meal to make?
Just me? I'm eating Cheerios. And loving them.

11. What's the first chapter book you ever remember finishing?
Harriet the Spy. I still list this as one of my favorites, and it shaped who I am today.

My Questions
1. Which character did you most identify with on the Nickelodeon classic "Hey Dude"?
2. What was the best thing your Mom/Dad/Grandma ever said to you?
3. Who would you take with you to high tea at the plaza?
4. If you could uproot your life today and move anywhere in the world, where would it be?
5. What website/blog do you check that you don't want people to know about?
6. If you could have any famous person alive or dead as your personal butler, who would it be?
7. If your family pet could talk, what would they say about you?
8. How many times have you been in love?
9. Cupcakes or doughnuts? 
10. Where is the person you miss the most?
11. If you could go back and live one year of your life again, which year would you choose? Or would you decline?

I'm a taggin...but feel free to skip it if it ain't yo thing/you already did one/ you're making cupcakes for me.
and because this past weekend was the Texas Style Council Conference, these awesome ladies I met there last year
and these super famous time bloggers who probably won't read this but I want to tweet it at them so they know I love them and I would die of happiness to know their answers to these questions.
Jenny & Ree

If I didn't tag you, I still want you to play if you're up for it! Send me your link!

*Update. While I was looking up twitter handles to tag people just now, I saw that Miss Indie just did one, so sorry bout the redundancy there. I also saw that Jess HAS to do it because we haven't heard from her on Hello Wife in ages. That is all.

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