I recently rediscovered this blog, and it brought back memories of such a wonderful, transformative time in my life. It was hard—beautifully hard. This space captures what I gained from choosing to stay home with my kids. My lost earning potential and years of learning a trade became years of learning to be a mother. It’s a skill that is deeply needed, yet never paid in traditional ways. It was the greatest education I’ve ever received (and I’ve attended a LOT of schools). Because I was there, with my best little friends. We tackled challenges together as a team, facing the world hand-in-hand every day.
What no one tells you about being a mother is this: everyone around you will second-guess whether you’re doing the job right. It doesn’t matter if they’ve ever done the job themselves. It doesn’t matter if they even want to be parents. If they are parents and their kids are struggling? Guess what—still “experts.” Everyone has an opinion. And they’re often carrying heat—because, after all, everyone’s been a child. And heaven help you if they think you’re failing in the same way they felt their own mothers failed. That’s when their judgment gets cranked up to a ten.
If even one person out of fifty had asked me, “How are you doing? How are you holding up?” instead of just telling me what I was doing wrong, it would have changed everything. But those questions rarely come. And this is a big reason mothers can feel isolated. It becomes easier to raise children in a cave where you can create a space of calm and feel safe to hold onto a peaceful vibration for your family.
So here, I want to explore ways we can bring mothers, healers, and caregivers back into the community—and truly make them feel welcome. If this isn’t a priority for you, that’s okay. We may see the world differently, but we can still be friends and learn from each other’s experiences. I just ask for kindness.
And as for negative comments? They’ll either be deleted, or left up as a testament to your creativity—if they’re clever enough to entertain our grandkids someday.
I love you. Be good.
Mama Lacy
