How to Make a Nugget Part 3

"Baby Class" or "How my Baby Was Born Addicted to Peanut Butter Treats"

(This is part three of a series I'm sharing about my pregnancy and birth. Here are Part I and Part II)

After the shock wore off about my pregnancy,  I had to either admit that a baby was coming to live with us or that I was ballooning up to 637lbs from eating too many cupcakes. I chose the baby.  I quickly began about preparations for his arrival. I wrote my first ever blog post. The graphics are goo-oood on that old blog so be sure to check that out.  I’ll also direct you to my birth plan. I had it all planned out, team. I was sooooo ready for child birth.  How did I even know to create a birth plan, you may ask? 

Enter Allison. I loved Allison.  It was at Allison’s house that I finally took a deep breath and felt like maybe everything would be fine. It was in her living room that I met my first real friends (since I had been pregnant) who were in the same rickety life boat we were in and having babies. They gave me hope, too.  I had found a Bradley (natural child birth) classes online and dragged Anthony 45 minutes across town in rush hour traffic to go figure out how to survive this birth, and Allison was our instructor. She had given birth to 3 or 4 kids naturally and calmly. She taught us all about husband coached child birth, relaxation techniques for labor, and put us on a special diet to help combat pre-eclampsia (a condition of high blood pressure that affects lots of mothers and often leads to Cesarean births). This diet, if nothing else from the class, was invaluable and likely kept me from being eclamptic when my weight soared to 280lbs the day I went into labor(not an exaggeration, but a lot of it was water weight that came off fairly quickly.) Although, all the healthy eating made me crave peanut butter treats and I would sneak one every couple of days.  In our baby class, we met the following:

-Cierra-A wonderful, lovely girl, who along with her husband Fitz(who is an an awesome folk band that you NEED to see in person when you get the chance) seemed to be super laid back and calm about this terrifying ordeal we were all going through together. They gave me lots of hope and were a good example to us. I still keep in touch with Cierra. She's since had another baby and is STILL a rock star and gives me hope.

-Tiffany-who never said much. She and her husband seemed as wide-eyed and scared as Anthony and I when we watched the videos of emerging babies. PS. These videos had cheerful mothers in them happily skippping out of the delivery room right after birth. I, for one, did not do that.

-Lisa-who'd already had two kids, so when she spoke, I always listened very carefully and took mental notes. Her husband and mine were the class clowns of this operation. I found her husbands jokes to be super funny and my husbands jokes to be super embarrassing.

-Nicole-the girl who looked like she was smuggling a basketball because she was still tiny everywhere but her belly. She ran, worked out, did cardio and strength training all the way though pregnancy-- while working full time. I did a little yoga and watched the entire Gilmore Girls series while laying on the couch, during mine. I was ashamed of myself when she would tell us all she did in a day.

The reason I sought natural birth training out was this: I actually knew quite a bit about the way things usually shake out in the delivery room from my training and education. I’m a licenced EMT and was working toward becoming a Doctor before I ran off to save the world on the campaign trail. I knew that at the hospital, it’s all business. Big Baby business.  A maternity ward is the cash cow of any hospital.  Hence the plush surroundings for mammas who are there for a day, and the cold, sterile walls for heart patients who are there for months awaiting transplants.  It’s wham, bam, thank-you for the epidural- Ma’am.
I knew that wasn’t what I wanted before I’d ever read a word about the dangers of heavy medications being introduced to a fetus during birth. I wanted something real. Something beautiful and meaningful. Even if it meant that I would be in pain. “I laugh at you pain!” I thought. I will be strong and capable and do things my own way just like always. When you get over confident like this, God has really no choice but to humble you. It’s in the bylaws. 

(to be continued... Tomorrow!)

Part 1 is here
Part 2 is here
Part 3 is here
Part 4 is here
Part 5 is here
Part 6 is here


Cierra said...

Whew! I'm glad I found part 3, but now I'm on the edge of my seat for Part 4! Sweet what you said about my being calm (I must put on a very good show ;)And I'm totally with you on Nicole, I always felt like a BIG (pun intended) slacker when she talked about her busy days haha

Jess said...

Girl, I'm loving this. Can't wait to see how your birth "plan" went :) My bff is training to be a midwife, so I can say that!

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